UGH- I just spent the last half hour reading blogs about kids with CDH. I should've known better. I have been bawling every since. The depth of pain involved when you lose a child is just unimaginable and I grieve all over again when I see others who have lost their precious children. After we buried Kyle Ann I had come home and looked up stillbirth on the internet and that was another huge mistake for me. I found a website that someone had started in order to honor the children we have lost. You could post your pictures of your babies. It was page after page of dead children. In a society of media flowing around every corner you can make a video montage complete with tear jerking music and images of pain. Not that the babies are in pain- but it is painful to see a life cut so short. It's painful to see the life and the color drained away leaving nothing but the memories of the life you had envisioned. I need to go to bed. I don't know why I am still up! I just wanna go cuddle my boy.
Liam has Pt at 8:00 AM! It is now midnight and if all goes as it usually has- he will be awake by 3:30. My little man has ALWAYS slept through the night but for the past week he has woken up at 3:30 on the dot and has fitful sleep until he gets up at around 7. So that makes me a VERY tired momma. See- I try to get one or two more ounces in late at night when he is sleeping. So I don't get to bed until 11 or 12. It has been roughly 9 months of sleep averaging only 6 hours a night. My body is meant for at least 8!
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