29 April 2013


Do everything without complaining or disputing so that you will be blameless and pure, children of God without any fault. But you are living with evil people all around you, who have lost their sense of what is right. Among those people you shine like lights in a dark world, and you offer them the teaching that gives life. Philippians 2:14-16 
This verse can be such a hard one for us parents of special kids. Do everything without complaining or disputing?  Wow. That's a sucker punch to the gut isn't it? I know I'm guilty of complaining when Liam has thrown up four times in one day. I'm guilty of complaining when we can't get the services, equipment, or therapies for Liam that I want. And I have certainly complained when things didn't go the way I had expected.  I'm pretty sure I disputed God's call to take Brady home too.
But this verse is a great reminder for us as Christian's. It's important to take an honest look at our motives in these situations and assess what our complaints are about and what affect we are causing.
When you delve into the Greek text for these verses you will see that the words for complaining (goggusmos) and disputing (dialogismos) were terms used for grumbling against God and in the body of Christ, causing dissensions and low grumbling discontent. We must make sure we do not get into a habit of complaining (grumbling and murmuring) like ancient Israel. While my grumblings may not be a continual grumble of discontent against God, they still affect my attitude toward what The Lord has sought to do in my life. My grumblings lesson his sovereignty, His will for my life.

I know my Jesus is big enough to to let His light shine through in my darkness (when I have complained) so that I may offer others the teaching that gives life.  I pray that my circumstances will allow others to see Christ in me and even though I may complain a few times, I know that I am better because of my circumstances because I have a hope and joy in Jesus that overpowers the problems I may face here.

I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. (Arab proverb)

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15 April 2013

My sweet, crazy boy...

When I put my sweet little boy to bed, I thank God for him every night. No matter how screwed up our day can be, no matter what path I thought we were on and what we have had to diverge down, no matter whether Liam will ever speak a word or care for himself, I am so thankful that we were given Liam.

Yesterday could have been better, I won't go into details because it's gross, but suffice it to say that we had a full fledged mess on our hands and Liam couldn't have been happier about it. He 'talked' non stop for an hour. It's moments like that that we have to just laugh it off or else we could get pretty bitter. This is something we may have to do for the rest of our lives.  At times, it isn't pretty. Yet, I still would never wish for us to have an out.

I know 5 years ago I would have thought having to care for a child like Liam would have been the worst thing to ever happen. But that was very, very selfish of me. And I'm so thankful God knows the plans he has for me.

I hate the phrase, "God gives special kids to special parents". I am nothing special... but wow... is Liam something special!

Being mom to Liam doesn't make me feel special just because he has special needs.

It's just knowing Liam that makes me feel special.

I wish everyone could feel as special as I do when I get to tuck this little guy into bed at night.

He may never utter a word, but his life is speaking volumes.

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05 April 2013

Lots of puke 4 days in...

After 4 full days of a blended diet and no formula, Liam's thrown up every day but yesterday. I am hoping he turned the corner yesterday and we will see no more vomiting or at the least they will be few and far between.  I am praying so! Cleaning this food out of the carpet is much more difficult than the mass produced formula. I immediately shampooed the carpet after yesterdays fiasco and even though it was done within 5 minutes, it still stained the carpet.

I have made the blends fresh every morning and have varied them only a bit. I want to get really familiar with doing this before I vary too far from this recipe. The kefir I use for the base is expensive but extremely nutritious and full of probiotics which I feel are really important for Liam's gut to heal. He does suffer from constipation so I need to get some blends that will help with that, incorporating prunes or prune juice.

This was the variations I used this week:

2 cups Kefir 460 cal
1 jar baby food fruit 70 cal
3 tbs peanut butter 380 cal
2 tbs molasses 120 cal
1/4 cup black beans 55 cal
1/4 cup cooked steal cut oats 170
Grand total of 1255

2 cups Kefir 460 cal
1/4 cups cooked steel cut oats 170 cal
1 oz raisins 90 cal
1 jar baby food fruit 70 cal
1/4 cup black beans 55 cal
3 tbs olive oil 360
2 tbs molasses 120
Grand total 1325 cal

I would like to be able to have a large list of foods at the ready that can be easily blended up and that I can buy based on sale prices like I do the rest of my family. I cook based on what I get on sale each week so I can keep our grocery budget low. Now that we are financing Liam's food it has to be planned into the budget as well and I want to be able to do it as cheaply as I can but still with all the natural ingredients. Since Kefir is so expensive (about $1 a cup) I need to get a better budget base and go from there. I think I'll look at coconut milk next.

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01 April 2013

Here we go

Today is the day! Liam is quitting formula cold turkey. He's been on Nestle Compleat for the last two years. While I have thoroughly enjoyed the convenience of having the formula delivered right to my door and there not being any preparation for it whatsoever, I just open the container and pour it in his tubing, I am thrilled that he will be getting off of the corn syrup.

While there is much debate on whether corn syrup is good or bad, I am going to go with the assumption that is is bad. It is the second ingredient in Nestle Compleat. That means, that out of the 38-40 ounces of formula Liam gets each day, he is getting mostly water and corn syrup. That corn syrup is probably coming from GMO corn. That means it's genetically modified. 

I took my concerns up with the Dr's over the years and got poo pooed about it. I know it's the contributing carbohydrate but, come on. Recently, my fave ped said that having that much corn syrup was no different than having a corn based diet. Um. HUH? Who eats that much corn? And since it's most likely GMO, that would be a no no for anyone's diet let alone my little challenged guy who has gut issues to begin with. 

Taking the plunge to get him off though has been conflicting for me because I want to make sure he's getting a nutritionally balanced meal while keeping volume low and calories high. I wasn't sure where to start. Enter in the internet, a little bit of math and research, and you get me to today- throwing off scientific idealogues and going with my gut.

Here's what I blended today:
2 cups kefir 440 kcal
1/4 cup steel cut oats 140 kcal
2T molasses 120 kcal
3T olive oil 360 kcal
1 banana 105 kcal
1 baby jar of turkey 70 kcal
1 scoop of protein powder 120 kcal
multi vitamin
Makes 32 ounces.
I threw it all in my new Blendtec blender (which is fantastic btw) and came up with this bad boy blend right here. It only took 30 seconds and Lian has a full days worth of food, packed with all natural ingredients, no GMO anything, and enough calories to fulfill his daily intake. With a little free water added in, Liam is getting everything he needs, made at home and not in a factory.

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