27 November 2013

~Happy 6th Birthday Boys~

It's been 6 years of birthdays with out Brady here to celebrate them with Liam. It's been 6 years of moments that we look around and think that there should be two boys right now giggling, splashing, or cuddling with.  It's been 6 years of trying to heal from the day we got to meet Brady but then said goodbye just one short day later. It's been 6 years of trying to honor Liam's birth day and not be sad that Brady isn't here to celebrate his special day too.

Job 7:11 Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.

This date is bittersweet for so many reasons. But one of the most important things it does do is remind me that no matter how difficult things are, I would never trade the hard days we go through if it meant not having Liam at all. The cost has been high, but the trade-off would have been worse.

I can't think back to Liam's birth day with out rehashing the grief that the day brings, the knowledge that there is an empty spot at the table where Brady should be. But I also can't think back without being grateful because it's the day that brought Liam to us. It's the day we get to celebrate Liam growing another year older. Brady didn't get that chance. Those boys, this day, are inexorably linked and it makes for the bittersweet day it always is.

Proverbs 27:7 But to a hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet.

My soul, however downcast, always sees the extraordinary brilliance of a plan greater than my own, where one day we will all see Brady again. We will all get to marvel at the joy of his soul and be grateful for the heartaches he got to leave behind when he left this earth. He never had to know the pains we experience and for that I am eternally grateful. We will see him again.

We celebrated the day with cupcakes and presents and got our hearts filled with joy watching Liam crack up to his new Mickey.

Lookin' fly when I picked him up from school.

Mickey is hilarious!!

You can see how thrilled he is about the cupcake. Umm no.

So, happy birthday my sweet boys. It's been 6 years of crazy and I am so thankful to have been a part of it. I love you both more than words can say.

2 Samuel 12:19-23 When David saw his servants whispering, he knew that the baby was dead. So he asked them, “Is the baby dead?” They answered, “Yes, he is dead.” Then David got up from the floor, washed himself, put lotions on, and changed his clothes. Then he went into the Lord’s house to worship. After that, he went home and asked for something to eat. His servants gave him some food, and he ate. David’s servants said to him, “Why are you doing this? When the baby was still alive, you fasted and you cried. Now that the baby is dead, you get up and eat food.” David said, “While the baby was still alive, I fasted, and I cried. I thought, ‘Who knows? Maybe the Lord will feel sorry for me and let the baby live.’  But now that the baby is dead, why should I fast? I can’t bring him back to life. Someday I will go to him, but he cannot come back to me.”

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