In Honor of Brady

To know that someone was blessed simply because my child existed is an emotion that I can't quite explain.

Kate is a mom who grieves over her lost son and the might have's and what could have been's. She sees in Liam what might have been if her son survived and she sees in Brady the loss she shares with her son Roscoe. We connected last year through my blog and this sweet woman gave a beautiful donation to Liam for his stem cell treatment in honor of Roscoe.

This year a friend of hers left random acts of kindness envelopes all over their town in honor of Roscoe and his birthday. Kate decided to spread the love further and on her birthday she put random acts of kindness envelopes, one for every year she's been alive, through out her town in honor of the lost babies she has come to know through the death of Roscoe.

She sent me this picture of an envelope left in Brady's name at a gas station.

The envelope says:
Random Act of Kindness
Have a gallon on me!
                            ~Brady

I am truly at a loss for what to say to such sweet, sweet generosity in the name of my son.  This person will never know who Brady is, how important he is to our family, and how much we miss him. But this person was blessed because Brady existed. To know that my son inspired such a generous idea is precious to me.

Thank you, Kate, for blessing me through your loss and blessing others through Brady.  You are an amazing woman and your heart and your love of Roscoe will continue to inspire and to bless others. Kate, you inspire me. My prayer is that my journey would do the same for others. <3 br="">

It's been 5 years.

I wrote this late last night and forgot to publish it. At 3:30 this morning Liam started cracking up, laughing and kicking in his bed. I rolled over, laughed myself at his special night time visit just for his birthday and went back to sleep. Somehow, while Liam was having such a good time, he managed to get onto the floor. He has not been able to get out of his bed since we moved him to a toddler bed with a rail and keep a pool noodle underneath the sheet as a barrier. Both are still in tact this morning yet Liam was found sound asleep down on the floor. =)


Separated for now, but twins always and forever...happy birthday my sweet baby boys! Brady, I know Liam talks to you  in the wee hours of the morning when the room is dark and quiet and everyone is asleep. I love how he giggles and he gets so excited, it's a different kind of laughter than what we normally hear around here from him. He only does it in the early morning hours when no one is looking. Does he see Kyle Ann too? I know you are playing with her and getting to spend your birthday with Jesus. I'm so happy for you guys! Even though we miss you so much and some times things are tough, I can't wish you back because you're in such an amazing place!

We'll see you someday though and I can wish you happy birthday in person then. For now, we will just have to celebrate twice as hard here and now with Liam.

Brady, while your body is whole and you can dance, and play and sing, Liam's is not quite there yet. It makes things tough on us at times so when you see Jesus, put in a good word for your brother about some healing needed down here! We keep up our prayers and can't wait to see what He's going to do still!

 Liam, you have changed our world! The love you've brought to this family has us ridiculously blessed. Who could have known that watching you learn the simplest of things could bring so much joy. Nothing you do is ever taken for granted. Your endless supply of smiles and your goofy giggles light up even the darkest days. These 5 years have been really hard but so worth it. You've made your momma and daddy better people just by being here. You've taught your siblings and us compassion, empathy, sympathy, and appreciation. You've taught us joy in the moments and that being disabled isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. Being different is how God planned for you to be! You may not work like the rest of us but you are still made in God's perfect image. He's got our backs through all of this and everything has been on purpose. And someday, you will be better!

Thank you, my boys, for the joy you have given me these last five years. May your birthday be a celebration of the happiness you are in our lives and an appreciation of the gift that God has given us in you.

Honor

It's not that I have ever forgotten my children who are being raised by Jesus, it's that visiting the cemetery is painful and even though it has gotten easier to go, it's still hard. I'm a wimp.

So, thank you to whomever you are that has visited in my stead.

I arrived yesterday ashamed to see the flowers I had put a year ago worn out and faded with time. Ashamed that I hadn't been back to take care of the dirt and grass growing in between the stones.
Ashamed that dead grass was covering up parts of the stones.

But how honored I was to see that someone had put an angel figurine on Kyle Ann's marker (we didn't get the option to put a desig/figure on her marker but did with Brady...Brady's has two angels attached in honor of both of the boys.). And someone had put a planter of flowers between them both. Thank you for remembering my children. I promise I haven't forgotten them. Even though visiting there it looked like I had.