05 November 2008


Check out the photos of Liams first Halloween. He was so cute! If you can't tell in the picture, he is a lion. Rylie was already gone for the evening so she didn't get in the family shot.

I have had a stressful week. I try not to let things get to me and I am usually pretty good at that but Liam's reflux has me so darn frustrated. I want to scream. I feel so bad for him. He has never had the reflux this bad and I can't understand why the constipation of a few weeks back could have contributed to such a big change in his refluxing but I don't see what else we can attribute it to. Yesterday was the maximum that I can take and so I am putting him back on meds. He was only on Zantac for a short time because it didn't do any good (visably anyway) and I decided to start feeding him small amounts and it worked. We took him off meds (he's been off for 4 months) and he has done really well with it. But once he got constipated it was like his sphincter opened up and stayed that way. Yesterday I changed his outfit 4 times. On the final throw up of the day he just vomited a little bit and this was surprising because it had been an hour since he had eaten. I picked him up, patted him on the back and then he proceeded to hurl more food out his mouth and then up his nose. Liam couldn't breath. He instantly started flailing. I had Ian run to get his bulb syringe and I wiped his face with a wipey. I then suctioned his nose to no avail. I started beating him on the back all while he is thrashing around on the floor trying to get some oxygen. I am debating on calling 911 and decide to blow down his nose. He still isn't breathing. Meanwhile Ian (the only one around) goes flying out the front door because he is scared to death his brother is dying and he doesn't want to witness it. I am still patting Liam on the back telling him to breath (like he understands me!) and I decide to call 911 even tho they are 5 minutes away and he will be blue and breathless when they get to us. When I start to walk out of the living room to go get the phone, Liam finally got in a little, tiny, whisper of air. He lays his head on my chest and I can hear the fluid he is trying to breath around. I just keep patting him on the back (I had no idea what else I could do) and he finally starts breathing quickly and deeply. I lost it. It's such a frightening feeling to watch someone try to drown! If Liam only knew that he could breath through his mouth we would have been fine but he doesn't understand that yet. It is truely an indescribable feeling to think you are watching your baby die. And the time that passes while you are in the midst of it seems to be an eternity. I know it wasn't too long because Liam didn't turn blue, just a pastey white. But still, it was way too long for him to not get any air. I don't want to experience that feeling ever again. I am praying that meds will help calm him back down and help him with the gagging.

I also think Liam has gotten even slower in his digestion since the constipation. He just threw up again (while sound asleep for the night) and I fed him almost 2 hours ago. And when I fed him he only ate 2 whopping ounces of formula. So it isn't like I gave him this huge feeding and his tummy was full. His stomach should have been close to empty after eating such a small amount. I'll see what Dr. C says about it and we will go from there. But I am definitely getting him some sort of meds.


Unknown said...

Oh Jennifer I'm so sorry your having such a tough time right now. Poor Ian, that must have been really scary for him. I hope the meds work for you guys. God is in control and He knows what He is doing thankfully. Love you and Miss you.

Anonymous said...

poor little man, that is so frustrating for you guys..I can't even imagine. We still keep Liam and the rest of you in our prayers. We love and miss you!!
Reb and Fred

Chris & AnnMarie said...

I'm so sorry that happened! It is so, so scary. My son Coy (a former 23 weeker, now almost 1) did the same thing when we brought him home in March. I was a wreck and it was horrifying. Reflux is so frustrating! Coy still refluxes quite a bit even at 11 months old.

Just wanted to tell you I've been checking on Liam and praying for your family. He is absolutely adorable! I will continue to pray for him to get over the reflux and for your strength and endurance.

Ann Marie Kolkhorst